Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
