And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
