let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
