Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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