that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
You can't motorboat a personality
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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