If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
