Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
