Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Porn is love you can see.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
