UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
