His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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