This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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