Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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