Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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