mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Randomize
