And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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