I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
