Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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