Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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