His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize