cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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