dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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