remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
