And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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