I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
