Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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