i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
