they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
