bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
