Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
