I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
