I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
