Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
