Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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