Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
