So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
