I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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