what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
