Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
