Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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