Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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