Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
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