dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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