I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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