why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
