You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
