did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
