dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
