Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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