A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
