Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
